Dogs: fun & love. 

   

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 Laughter the Best Medicine

Quote Me

 

  Dogs never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
--Jerome K. Jerome, English humorist

Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dog.
--Ernest Thompson Seton, American writer and naturalist.

Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.
--Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer

Sir, this is a unique dog. He does not live by tooth or fang. He respects the right of cats to be cats although he doesn't admire them. He turns his steps rather than disturb an earnest caterpillar. His greatest fear is that someone will point out a rabbit and suggest that he chase it. This is a dog of peace and tranquility.
--John Steinbec
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Being patted is what it is all about.--Roger Caras.

 

Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
--Mark Twain.

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
--Josh Billings

  When a manís dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama.
--Mark Twain.

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.
--Margot Kaufman, American writer


My little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet.
--Edith Wharton.

She had no particular breed in mind, no unusual requirements. Except the special sense of mutual recognition that tells dog and human they have both come to the right place.
--Lloyd Alexander, American writer.

God ... sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it... and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
--Corey Ford, American writer

 

Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace.
--Milan Kundera

Why is it that my heart is so touched whenever I meet a dog lost in our noisy streets? Why do I feel such anguished pity when I see one of these creatures coming and going, sniffing everyone, frightened, despairing of even finding its master?
--Emil Zola

Q: Why do dogs run in circles?
A: Because its hard to run in squares!

Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
A: Dingo Starr!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Q: When does a dog go "moo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!

His name is not wild dog anymore, but the first friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always.
--Rudyard Kipling

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!

"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made"
--M. Facklam

Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails.

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
--Anonymous

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
-- Dave Barry

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard."
--Dave Barry

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley


"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."
--Sigmund Freud

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-- Gene Hill

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
--Franklin P. Jones

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner

Dogs lie around all day on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but they don't hear you when you are in the same room.
When you want to play, they want to play.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They leave their toys everywhere.
They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

My advice to any diplomat who wants to have good press is to have two or three kids and a dog.~ Carl Rowan

To his dog a man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
--Aldous Huxley 1894 English Novelist.

Man is a dogs ideal of what God should be.
--Holbrook Jackson 1874 English Journalist.

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.
--Alexander Pope 1688-1744 English Poet.


Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen?
A: Use a pencil instead!

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. ~ Mark Twain

There are three faithful friends--an old wife, an old dog and ready money. ~ Ben Franklin.

Q: Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
A: Because they mess up the whole house!

Two dogs sniff over to a parking meter. One of them woofs to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!"

About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
~ Edgar Watson 1853-1937

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he is irritated? But when you take him for a ride he immediately sticks his head out the window!

Q: What did the Dalmatian woof after a bowl of kibbles?
A: That hit the spots!

After the dog ate the garlic toast his breath was worse than his bite.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail~ Josh Billings

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. ~ Erma Bombeck

A guy wanted the vet to cut his dogís tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls ~ Phillis Diller

I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.~ Wendy Liebman


There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.''

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!

Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!