"The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far,
but we will walk carefully." - Russian Proverb.
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at
the very least you need a beer." - Frank Zappa.
"'twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I
never had the courtesy to thank her for it." - W. C. Fields.
"And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be
sober in the morning." - Winston Churchill, replying to Bessie Braddock who told him he
was drunk.
"24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence ?" -
Stephen Wright.
Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain; With grammar, and nonsense, and
learning; Good liquor, I stoutly maintain; Gives genius a better discerning. Oliver Goldsmith
A billion hours ago, human life appeared on earth. A billion minutes ago,
Christianity emerged. A billion Coca-Colas ago was yesterday morning.~
1996 Coca-Cola Company annual report
"Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink ?"
"Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time."
"A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a
day without sunshine you can still get drunk." - Lee Entrekin.
"Prohibition ? HA ! They tried that in the movies and it didn't
work." - Homer Simpson.
"Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and
you'd step over your own mother just to get one !" - Homer Simpson.
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win
or lose... it's how drunk you get." - Homer Simpson.
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." -
Homer Simpson.
"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just
do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." - Homer Simpson.
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory" -
Bumper sticker.
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
behind." - Humphrey Bogart.
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza." - Dave Barry.
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
beer." - Dave Barry.
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
behind." - Humphrey Bogart.
"Why is American beer served cold ? So you can tell it from urine."
- David Moulton.
Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words. Plautus
"People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer;
they just like to pee a lot." - Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." -
Kaiser Wilhelm.
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools." - Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls.
"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen
days I had lost exactly two weeks." - Joe E. Lewis.
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of
me." - Winston Churchill.
"I must point out that my rule of life prescribed as an absolutely
sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after, and
if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them." - Winston
Churchill, Said during a lunch with the Arab leader Ibn Saud, when he heard that
the king's religion forbade smoking and alcohol.
"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently
there must be a beverage." - Woody Allen.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body,
desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter
chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort
little crippled children, then I'm for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise !" - A Congressman's
response about his attitude toward whiskey.
"And God said, 'Let there be vodka !'
And He saw that it was good.
Then God said, 'Let there be light !'
And then He said, 'Whoa - too much light'."
"If drinking is evil, then why did Jesus turn water to wine ?"
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
