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They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.~ Will Rogers
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I am always so happy to see my friend Pong. I like to call my friends, so Pong can trumpet over my mobile. Ka Pong's trumpet makes everyone happy! ~ Khun Tem Elephant Treks 1/2 day or multi-day |
Laughter the Best
Medicine
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& Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Bumper Sticker "As long as there are tests there will be prayer in public schools." Laughter is the closest distance between two people. ~ Victor Borge Hear Tele-Evangelist Ted Haggard's sermon on his 2 week gay-ness cure! |
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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.~ Will Rogers The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. A bar is a pharmacy with a limited inventory. If you ever have to support a flagging conversation, introduce the topic of eating ~ Leigh Hunt
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Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. ~ Robert Frost (1874-1963) A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.Why don't elephants ride bicycles?They don't have thumbs to ring the bells. If fascism ever comes to America, it will come wrapped in an American flag. - Huey Long George Carlen: Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac |
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"George Bush recently said the he believes in global warming .. as a result, now I'm not sure" ~ Lewis Black, December 2007
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January, 2008: From the late night talk show comedians Re: Hillary's reported Plastic Surgery: She's so good looking now that Bill hit on her by accident last night. The head of the state's leading gay-rights group said Hillary Clinton is a disappointment on same-sex marriage.
According to a poll, 60% of Americans saying they would be comfortable with Bill Clinton as a First Husband.
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A backward poet writes inverse
Q. Why do men want to
marry virgins?
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Q: What's the worst part of the drive from Houston to Orlando? A: "Depends", reported Astro-Nut Nitwit (the asto-nut that wore adult diapers for 16 hours, driving from Texas to Florida, while stalking her boyfriend's new squeeze .. oh, forget it.. ) Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat >minor.
Texas Attorney: Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
"You're not drunk if you can lie
on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin.
I've got two TV Guides. One on the table and one in the bath-room. I'm rich! ~>Al Bundy
Those
who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine (River). A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Interstate. Motorists are
asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. |
Click the search button for more jokes & humor .. see an author you like? Google it.
Never judge a book by its movie. ~J. W. Eagan Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards ?? After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. W C Fields
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What is a jock's
(male or female!) view of safe sex?A padded headboard.
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Full Length Comedy DVDs from Amazon
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin I've got two TV Guides. One on the table and one in the bath-room. I'm rich! ~Al Bundy "George Bush recently said the he believes in global warming .. as a result, now I'm not sure" ~ Lewis Black, December 2007 I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With An Ugly Woman, But I Sure Woke Up With a Few. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. ~ Mae West .Political Jokes Graucho Marx Quotes Elephant Jokes Lawyer Jokes Tobacco is No Joke |
If you're looking for a good reason to be happy, consider this: Happier people are healthier.
Every calendar's days are numbered
A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine & 'taint enough of it!!
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Does anybody know the Washington Post's code name for their Clinton insider-news source?
I'm pretty sure it's not "Deep Throat" ... ( for you kids, that was the "press informant name" of the Nixon insider! )
Why did they name their dog Buddy?
Bill was already tired of Hillary yelling, "Come Spot"
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. -- Will Rogers
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! ERROR: Keyboard Not Found! Press ENTER to continue Smash forehead on keyboard to continue :-o Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... |
My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character. ~ Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of figure skating", 1994
Q. Why do men name their penises?If you're looking for a good reason to be happy, consider this: Happier people may be healthier.
Most internet security issues are directly related to Microsoft Internet Explorer.
“
Better than Internet Explorer by leaps and bounds.” - FORBES
