When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.~ Mae West

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A hard man is good to find. ~ Mae West     I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. ~ Mae West

It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men. ~ Mae West      I've been in more laps than a napkin. ~ Mae West

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain ~ Mae West

 Laughter the Best Medicine

Quote Me


So many men, so little time. ~ Mae West

You're never too old to become younger. ~ Mae West

When I'm good, I'm good. When I'm bad, I'm very good.~ Mae West

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?~ Mae West

I wrote this story myself, It's all about a girl who lost her reputation, but never missed it. ~ Mae West

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. ~ Mae West


When a girl goes wrong - men go right after her. ~ Mae West

It's not the men in my life that counts-it's the life in my men. ~ Mae West

Those who are easily shocked, should be shocked more often. ~ Mae West A man in the house is worth two in the street ~ Mae West

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. ~ Mae West

Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. ~ Mae West

He who hesitates is last ~ Mae West

I used to be Snow White but I drifted ~ Mae West

"Goodness, what beatiful diamonds !" - "Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie".

I've been things and done places

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before.

Mae: "How tall are you ?" - Man: "Six foot seven." - Mae: "Well, let's forget about the six foot and talk about the seven inches".

I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better.

I always say, keep a diary, and some day it'll keep you.

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you don't break any.

It's better to be looked over than overlooked.

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

Marriage is a fine institution - but I'm not ready for an institution.

It's not what you do ... i's how you do it.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Quest: Ever met a man that could make you happy ? Mae: Several times.

It don't mean a thing if you don't pull a string.

He's so crooked he uses a cork screw for a ruler.

I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day, and Fox all night.

Why don't you come up and have a little ... scotch and soffa.

The Joke Book Store

.. 80 Joke Books

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.

A2: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...

you might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap .. you actually know what kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper ..  .. your checks feature pictures of dogs fighting... your muffler is held on by a coat hanger. .. going to the bathroom in the of middle of the night requires shoes and a flashlight.