Laughter the Best Medicine

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It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

Voltaire (1694-1778)

It's not peace I want, not mere contentment. It's boundless joy and ecstasy for me.

Kugell

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Scott Elledge , Professor , on his retirement from Cornell

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god.

Seneca (3 B.C. - 65 A.D.)

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

Clive James

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.

Robert Benchley

It was during the glory years (of IBM), its years of greatest profit and greatest admiration , that it was making the mistakes that sowed the billions of dollars of losses that came later.

Bill Gates (1955- ) , Microsoft Founder, Playboy, 1994

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) , when asked how he became a Navy hero

It was the best butter.

Lewis Carroll

It would be nice, occasionally, if the target costs less than the bullet you shoot.

Mike Boorda, Admiral , Chief of Naval Operations, 1996

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

Blues Brothers

It's a damned long, boggy, dirty, dangerous way.

Oliver Goldsmith

It is our duty as men and women to proceed as though the limits of our abilities do not exist.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

In the long run men hit only what they aim at.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

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In the name of peace, we kill each other. In the name of religion, we kill each other. So we decided to laugh at that.

Nabil Sawaiha , Jordanian comedian, on the cabaret act he and a partner wrote and performed in Tel Aviv - the first production by a troupe from an Arab country ever

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Yogi Berra

It is much more comforable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

G. B. Burgin

It is my supposition that the Universe in not only queerer than we imagine, is queerer than we CAN imagine.

J. B. S. Haldane

It is not necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paper work, and the other is nostalgia.

Frank Zappa

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

Richard J. Ferris , President of United Airlines

It is no longer my moral duty as a human being to achieve an integrated and unitary set of explanations for my thoughts and feelings.

Bronwyn Davies

It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.

Voltaire (1694-1778)

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Gore Vidal

In this business, by the time you realize you're in trouble, it's too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone.

Bill Gates (1955- ) , Microsoft Founder, 1994

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In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.

Paul Harvey

In Yankee Stadium, it gets late early.

Yogi Berra

Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.

Voltaire (1694-1778)

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best.

Frank Zappa

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

Intellectual brilliance is no guaranty against being dead wrong.

David Fasold

Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

Investigation may be likened to the long months of pregnancy, and solving a problem to the day of birth. To investigate a problem is, indeed, to solve it.

Mao Tse-Tung (1893-1976) , Chinese political leader

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

Russell Baker

Is it partly cloudy or partly clear, over the lake?

Anonymous

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

William Safire

I's wicked - I is. I's mighty wicked, anyhow. I can't help it.

Harriet Beecher Stowe

Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.

Cincinnati Enquirer

It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.

Art Buchwald , WWII Marine volunteer

It has been a bitter mortification for me to digest the conclusion that the 'race is for the strong' and that I shall probably do little more but be content to admire the strides others made in science.

Charles Darwin

It is a good day to die! Strong hearts to the front, weak hearts to the rear!

Crazy Horse , battle of the Little Big Horn

It is a lovely thing to live with courage, and to die leaving behind everlasting renown.

Alexander The Great

It is a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth.' and so it goes away. Puzzling.

Robert M. Pirsig

It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.

Jerome K. Jerome

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

Harry S. Truman

It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all to prudent.

Vincent van Gogh

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Tom Stoppard

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

It is better to shoot for the stars and miss than aim at the gutter and hit it.

Anonymous

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.

Samuel Johnson

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.

Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) - The Physiology of Marriage, 1829

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

George S. Patton, General (1885-1945)

It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations.

Walter Bagehot - Biographical Studies

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

William G. McAdoo

It is true that liberty is precious, so precious that it must be rationed.

Nikolai Lenin

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

It isn't what they say about you; it's what they whisper.

Errol Flynn

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him.

Arthur C. Clarke

It revolts me but I do it!

W. S. Gilbert, Sir

It takes a long time to understand nothing.

Edward Dahlberg

It takes great cleverness to be able to conceal one's cleverness.

Francois de La Rouchefoucald , Duc de La Rouchefoucald

It takes less time to do a thing right than explain why you did it wrong.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.

Albert Camus

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Jerry Seinfeld

It's great to be young and insane.

Michael Keaton - Dream Team

It's more than a game. It's an institution.

Thomas Hughes

It's not over until it's over.

Yogi Berra

 

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts.

Millard Fuller

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work -- the night watchman.

Tallulah Bankhead

It's one of those New York questions, like "why don't you ever see baby pigeons?"

Anonymous