Laughter the Best Medicine

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  My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Kin Hubbard

Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.

Tallulah Bankhead

No man is rich enough to buy back his past.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Ron Nesen

Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.

Anonymous

Nothing unites the English like war. Nothing divides them like Picasso.

Hugh Mills

Nothing would please the Kremlin more than to have the people of this country choose a second rate president.

Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994) , Former U.S. President

 

No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.

Henry Brooks Adams

Mingle some brief folly with your wisdom.

Horace

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Never touch a butterfly's wing with your finger.

Colette

Of all the varieties of virtues, liberalism is the most beloved.

Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

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Oh, how fine it is to know a thing or two.

Moliere

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Ogden Nash

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.

John Kenneth Galbraith

Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

Nothing like a little judicious levity.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Now is the time for drinking, now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot.

Horace

Number 3 pencils and quadrille pads.

Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) , when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I; he also recommended using the back side of the pages so that the lines were not so dominant.

Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity then they really are.

Henry Fielding

My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it as it is and why it exists as all.

Stephen Hawking

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up.

Jesse Jackson

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

No one ever gets far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day.

Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Joe Theismann , football commentator and former player

Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by definition, is unassailable.

James Baldwin - Nobody Knows My Name, 1961

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.

Kin Hubbard

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Nothing else in the world...not all the armies...is so powerful as an idea whose time has come.

Victor Hugo

Nothing endures but change.

Heraclitus

Nothing good ever ends.

William Saroyan

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone.

Jorge Luis Borges

Nothing is comprehensible except by virtue of its edges.

Indian Proverb

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.

Henry Ford (1863-1947)

No one should drive a hard bargain with an artist.

Ludwig von Beethoven

No other success can compensate for failure in the home.

David O. McKay - Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of the LDS Church, April, 1964

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory, no glory; no cross, no crown.

William Penn

No Sane man will dance.

Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

No stream rises higher than its source. What ever man might build could never express or reflect more than he was. He could record neither more nor less than he had learned of life when the buildings were built.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

Never mistake motion for action.

Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame-thrower.

Bruce Feirstein

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is already full.

Henry Kissinger (1923- )

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

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Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.

Rabindranath Tagore

Nirvana or lasting enlightenment or true spiritual growth can be achieved only through persistent exercise of real love.

M. Scott Peck

No aptitude at all for long division, but never mind. It's him they ask to split the atom. How he talked his way into the Nobel prize is beyond me. But then, I suppose it's like the man says, 'It's not what you know...'

Karl Arbeiter , Former teacher of Albert Einstein

No doubt, a scientist isn't necessarily penalized for being a complex, versatile, eccentric individual with lots of extra-scientific interests. But it certainly doesn't help him a bit.

Stephen Toulmin

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce

No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main.

John Donne - Meditation XVII

No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.

Joyce Brothers

No one but a fool would measure their satisfaction by what the world thinks of it.

Oliver Goldsmith

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

George S. Patton, General (1885-1945)

My good intentions are completely lethal.

Margaret Atwood

My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.

Charles F. Kettering

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.

Ashleigh Brilliant

My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.

Ashleigh Brilliant

My poor head is in such a whirl, my mind is all in bits.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

My sun sets to raise again.

Elizabeth Barret Browning

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Christopher Morley

My way of joking is to tell the truth; it's the funniest joke in the world.

Anonymous

Miscellaneous is always the largest category.

Joel Rosenberg - The Warrior Lives

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.

Anonymous

Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Spike Milligan

Money is always there but the pockets change; it is not in the same pockets after a change, and that is all there is to say about money.

Gertrude Stein

Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did.

James Baldwin - Nobody Knows My Name

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

H. G. Wells (1866-1946)

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

Move the chair

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) , to a client who phoned him to complain of rain leaking through the roof of the house onto the dining table.

Mr. Clarke played the king all evening as though under constant fear that someone else was about to play the ace.

Eugene Field , Critic

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)

Music is Love in search of a word.

Sidney Lanier

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

Anonymous

Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.

Francis Patiky Stein

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.

Mathew Browne

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self.

Millicent Fenwick

Never floss with a stranger.

Joan River

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right.

Isaac Asimov