Laughter the Best Medicine

Quote Me


Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven't had that what have you had?~ Henry James

Sex is an emotion in motion. ~Mae West (1892-1980)

Pat Buchannan's speeches sound much better in the original German.~ Molley Ivers

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.~ William Hazlitt

Practice is the best of all instructors.~ Publilius Syrus

Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.~ Confucius


Result!  Why,  I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.~ Thomas Edison

Science is organized knowledge.~ Herbert Spencer

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.~ Immanuel Kant

Science when well digested is nothing but good sense and reason.~ Stanislaw I. Leszczynski

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Science itself, therefore, may be regarded as a minimal problem, consisting of the completest possible presentment of facts with the least possible expenditure of thought.~ Ernest Mach

Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, direct able, and therefore misdirect able, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be. Children and con~ James P. Hogan - Code of the Lifemaker

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.~ Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. ~ Lily Tomlin

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. ~Philip K. Dick

Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.~ Michel de Montaigne

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.~ Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs~ Lily Tomlin

Reality is good for small doses.~ Anonymous

Reason is the substance of the universe, the design of the world is absolutely rational.~ Hegel

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.~ Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts.~ Robert Keith Leavitt

Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.~ Isaac Asimov

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.~Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. ... It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

Prejudice is just another word for ignorance.~ Thomas A. D. Weston

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.~ Rich Cook

Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.~ Francois de La Rouchefoucauld - Maxims, 1665








Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

Sophia Loren

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

Bette Davis

Sex is hardly ever just about sex.

Shirley Maclaine

Same old slippers, Same old rice; Same old glimpse of paradise.

William James (1842-1910)

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day--and another, in case it doesn't rain.

Mae West (1892-1980)

Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all- the apathy of human beings.

Helen Keller

Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.

Patricia Sampson

Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

Mohammed Ali

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

George Burns , at age 90

Room Service? Send up a larger room.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

Procrastination is the thief of time.

John Dos Pasos

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

Recent medical research into the secrets of biology confirms what we always knew: that women are tougher, stronger and lustier than anyone ever thought. Our challenge is to surpass these expectations!

Jennie Chua , General Manager of the Raffles Hotel

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Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

Jonathan Kozol

Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.

John Lennon

Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.


Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.

Katherine Hepburn

Plato had slaves...George Washington had slaves...So, do I feel intrinsically better than these two men? Of course I do! They're dead!

Todd Andrew Reid ]

Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Plunge boldly into the thick of life!

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.

Nikita Khruschev

Politics I supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Ronald Reagan , Former U.S. President

Popularity is the crown of laurel that the world puts on bad art. Whatever is popular is wrong.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)



Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner.

Omar Bradley, General

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

Mayor Marion Barry , Washington, DC

Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips....

Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

D. J. Hicks

Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.

Peter Ustinov

People can travel faster than sound, yes, but not nearly so fast as rumor!


People find life entirely too time-consuming.

Stanislaw J. Lec

People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get what they want.

David Mamet

People say "I want peace." If you remove I {ego}, and your want {desire}, you are left with peace.

Satya Sai Baba

People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.

Pete Incaviglia , baseball player, 1990