Laughter the Best Medicine

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The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

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The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization.

Mikhail Gorbachev , June 8, 1990

The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments.

William H. Borah

The measure of a man is what he does with power.


The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841-1935)

The mistakes are all waiting to be made.

Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) , Chessmaster, on the game's opening position

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

John Kenneth Galbraith

The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside.

Dag Hammarskjold

The more things change, the more they are the same.

Alphonse Karr

The more you say, the less people remember. The fewer the words, the greater the profit.


The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

Brandan Behan

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Nathaniel Borenstein

The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.

H. P. Lovecraft

The mother art is architecture. Without an architecture of our own we have no soul of our own civilization

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

The moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on...

Omar Khayyam - The Rubaiyat

The NBA players are smart enough to know that you get the virus from unprotected sex, and we're not going to have unprotected sex on the basketball court.

Rony Seikaly , Golden State Warriors center, on the return to pro backetball of Los Angeles Lakers superstar Magic Johnson, who retired four years ago after testin

The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap and they know it.

Fred Friendly

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.

Henry Kissinger (1923- )

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

Andres S. Tannenbaum

The most important of all sciences man can and must learn is the science of living so as to do the least evil and the greatest possible good.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.

Virginia Woolf

The one on my board right now

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) , when asked which of his buildings was the most beautiful

The only motivation I need to write a musical is a phone call from the producer.

Cole Porter

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

Russell Baker

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.


The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.

Robert Oppenheimer

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The origin of all science is the desire to know causes, and the origin of all false science and imposture is the desire to accept false causes rather than none; or, which is the same thing, in the unwillingness to acknowledge our own ignorance.

William Hazlitt

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The pain passes, but the beauty remains.

Pierre Auguste Renoir

The paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace the hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop.

Alfred Hitchcock

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.

Frank Herbert

The philosophers of the Middle Ages demonstrated both that the Earth did not exist and also that it was flat. Today they are still arguing about whether the world exists, but they no longer dispute about whether it is flat.

Vilhjalmur Stefansson

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

George Stephanopolous , Clinton's aide speaking on Larry King Live

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

Roger Simon

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

The reward for a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.

Karl Marx

The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.


The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey ]

The scientists split the atom; now the atom is splitting us.

Quentin Reynolds

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Jean Giraudoux

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

The service life of a cobbled up fix is inversely proportional to the time required to slap it together.

Nick Lappos

The size of your problem is defined by your efforts to convince yourself that it's not a problem.

Nick Lappos

The Social Sciences are good at accounting for disasters once they have taken place.

Claude T. Bissell

The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures.

Jutice Earl Warren

The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

Frank Rizzo

The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.

Henrik Ibsen

The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things...

Richard Feynman

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.

Edward VIII, King

The Third World was not created randomly. Rest assured, they got themselves there the hard way.

Nick Micskey

The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning, not the end.

Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.


The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.

Heywood Brown

The trick is to structure your question so that the answer No gets you what you want.

Lorren 'Rus' Stiles, Sr. , Comanche project pilot

The trouble with a kitten is that Eventually it becomes a Cat.

Ogden Nash

The trouble with out times is that the future is not what it used to be.

Paul Valery (1871-1945)

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Lily Tomlin

The true art of memory is the art of attention.

Samuel Johnson

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Ann Landers

The truly proud man knows neither superiors or inferiors. The first he does not admit of - the last he does not concern himself about.

William Hazlitt

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.

Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

The truth is more important than the facts

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.

Brian Pickrell

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools.

Herbert Spencer

The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.

W. Somerset Maugham

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Elizabeth Taylor

The progress of science is often affected more by the frailties of humans and their institutions than by the limitations of scientific measuring devices. The scientific method is only as effective as the humans using it. It does not automatically lead to

Steven S. Zumdahl

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

The question in life is not whether you get knocked down. You will. The question is, are you ready to get back up... and fight for what you believe in.

Dan Qualye

The real danger from advertising is that it helps to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious non-material possessions: the confidence in the existence of meaningful purposes of human activity and respect for the integrity of man.

Paul Sweezy

The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.

Doris Day

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

Eden Phillpotts

The universe is laughing behind your back.


The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it unfriendly. It is simply indifferent.

John H. Holmes

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

Edsgar Dijkstra

The utmost extent of man's knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.

Joseph Addison (1672-1719)

The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.

Bill Vaughan

The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.

Adolf Hitler

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

Paula Poundstone