Laughter the Best Medicine

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The wheel is come full circle.

William Shakespeare - King Lear

The whole point of getting things done is knowing what to leave undone.

Stella Adler - Lady Stella Reading

The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.

Reggie Jackson

The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quotations.

Benjamin Disraeli

The words walked right out of my mouth.

James Brady

The world began without man, and it will complete itself without him.

Claude Levi-Strauss

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.


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The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.

Joseph Joubert

The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation.

Pearl S. Buck

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.


There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.

Georges Pompidou

There are three schools of magic. One: State a tautology, then ring the changes on its corollaries; that's philosophy. Two: Record many facts. Try to find a pattern. Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; that's science. Three: Be aware that you live i


There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

Peter De Vries

There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.

Niels Bohr

There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.


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There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.

Albert Schweitzer

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.

Francois de La Rouchefoucald , Duc de La Rouchefoucald

There are, of course, several things in Ontario that are more dangerous than wolves. For instance, the step-ladder.

J. W. Curran

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W. C. Fields

There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.

Fred Hoyle

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

Sigfried Hulzer

There is a melancholy that stems from greatness.


There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Frank Zappa

There is more to life than increasing its speed.


There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.

Niven's Law # 16

There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and discipline.

Michel de Montaigne

There is no good arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.

James Russell Lowell

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his.

Helen Keller

There is no problem so complex that it cannot simply be blamed on the pilot.

Earl Wiener , Human Factors Society President

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

Ken Olson , President, Chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

There is no substitute for hard work.

Thomas Edison

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.


There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order to things.

N. Machiavelli

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.

Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)

There is nothing more uncommon than common sense

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

There is nothing permanent except change.


There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

Bill Wulf

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

There might be some credit in being jolly.

Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

There never was night that had no morn.

Dinah Mulock Craik

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.

Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

There were so many stories around, it was almost inevitable some of them would turn out to be true.

Nigel Evans , Majesty magazine editor, explaining a string of accurate stories about the royal family in the London tabloids

There, that is our secret: go to sleep! You will wake, and remember, and understand.

Elizabeth Barret Browning

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There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.

John Erskine

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

Steven Wright

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

Bill Watterson - Calvin and Hobbes

There's no fool like an old fool -- you can't beat experience.

Jacob Braude

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Will Rogers (1879-1935)

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

Billy Joel

There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.

Robert L. Stanfield

These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.

Alfred Hitchcock

These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.

Jeff Greenfield , news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995

They say a reasonable amount o' fleas is good for a dog--keeps him from broodin' over bein' a bog, mebbe.

Edward Noyes Westcott

They say miracles are past.

William Shakespeare - All's Well that Ends Well

They talk most who have the least to say.

Mathew Prior

They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.

Billie Holliday

They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally they became heroes.


They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

Edgar Allen Poe - Eleonora

They've got us surrounded again... the poor bastards!

Creighton W. Abrams, General

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Think, or be damned.

Bryan Penton

Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us.

Jean Rostand

This is the very coinage of your brain.

William Shakespeare - Hamlet

This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)

This is very true: For my words are my own, and my actions are my ministers.

Charles II

This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.

Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958) , upon reading a young physicist's paper

This secret spoke Life herself unto me: "Behold," said she, "I am that which must ever surpass itself."

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow's happiness grow.

Margaret Lindsey

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

Those who attain to any excellence commonly spend life in some single pursuit, for excellence is not often gained upon easier terms.

Samuel Johnson

There are no signposts in the sky to show a man has passed that way before. There are no channels marked. The flier breaks each second into new uncharted seas.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.

Louis Pasteur

There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.

Emile Chartier

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.

Hodding Carter

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.

Jim Morrison , singer of The Doors