You Can Quote Me!

When someone has the wit to coin a useful phrase, it ought to be acclaimed and broadcast or it will perish. ~ Jack Smith

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quotations.  Benjamin Disraeli

 Laughter the Best Medicine

Quote Me

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.~ John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) , when asked what is his favorite song

They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning. ~Billie Holliday

Sometimes it's a little better to travel than to arrive.~ Robert M. Pirsig - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain (1835-1910)

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. Rwandan Proverb

Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself. ~ William Faulkner

 "As long as there are tests there will be prayer in public schools."

Art is either plagiarism or revolution. ~ Paul Guaguin

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. Jimi Hendrix

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. ~ Evan Esar

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.~ Will Rogers

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."-- Rita Rudner

Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.--Mark Twain.

Any clod can have the facts, having beliefs is an art. ~ Charles McCabe

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! -- Will Rogers

 

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. Groucho Marx

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should,  for example, be able to see that things are hopeless yet be determined to make them otherwise.

Weakness of character is the only defect that cannot be amended. ~ Francois de La Rouchefoucald

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

I've got two TV Guides. One on the table and one in the bath-room.  I'm rich! ~Al Bundy

"George Bush recently said the he believes in global warming .. as a result,  now I'm not sure" ~ Lewis Black, December 2007

I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With An Ugly Woman, But I Sure Woke Up With a Few.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. ~ Mae West

.Political Jokes    Graucho Marx Quotes   Elephant Jokes    Lawyer Jokes   Tobacco is No Joke

Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I accomplish. Michelangelo

When you come right down to it all you have is yourself.  The sun is a thousand rays in your belly. All the rest is nothing. ~ Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.~ Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"People are more opposed to fur than leather because rich ladies are easier to harass than bikers." - my neighbor,  Louise!

Exercise Program    Medical Tourism   Laughter The Best Medicine  AntiAging Project  The functions and stages of sleep.

 

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.  Charles Schultz

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.~ Benjamin Disraeli

"When they caught Saddam Hussein, he had more than $750,000 dollars. When he heard this, President Bush immediately invited Saddam to a fundraising dinner" - Conan O'Brien

After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.  W C Fields

A fanatic is a man who does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case. ~ Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936)

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.~ Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

I've got two TV Guides. One on the table and one in the bath-room.  I'm rich! ~Al Bundy

Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you, heard on BBC Iraq report.

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. John A. Shedd

"The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far, but we will walk carefully." - Russian Proverb

Pleasure

The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.  Frank Herbert

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. ~ Will Rogers

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.  Mark Twain (1835-1910)

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation. Samuel Johnson

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the decision maker

I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With An Ugly Woman, But I Sure Woke Up With a Few.

A countryman between two lawyer s is like a fish between two cats ~ Benjamin Franklin

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. ~ Mae West

"Once there was a time when all people believed in god and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages"> Art Gecko

I like a man who grins when he fights. Winston Churchill

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible. ~ A. Einstein

A backward poet writes inverse

I've got two TV Guides. One on the table and one in the bath-room.  I'm rich!

I will not eat oysters. I want my . dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead. ~ Woody Allen.

"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer." - Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1975.

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Lisa Marie Presley told Rolling Stone magazine that she and Michael Jackson had sex at the beginning of the marriage

Have a yen to travel:  TESOL / TEFL can be a good career choice.  Medical Tourism: Globalization for the individual.  Laughter The Best Medicine