14. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

15. Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

16. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

17. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

18. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

19. What happens when none of your bees wax?
20. Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

21. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?

22. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

23. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?

According to a new survey 60% of adults say they're aware of someone who's gone to work under the influence of drugs. Apparently the other 40% have never heard of the Dallas Cowboys.

- Conan O'Brien

Who is the only woman in the White House not sleeping with Clinton?

Hillary

What are the job requirements for secretaries at the White House?

The have to know the President's zip code.

Quotes taken from actual work performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig."

2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

4. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

10. "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better."

11. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

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