Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles Schultz

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.

Charles Barkley , on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of figure skating", 1994

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Abbie Hoffman

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.

Bruce Friedman

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

Sidney Goff

Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

Colin Powell

Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

William Faulkner

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

Don't look back - something might be gaining on you.

Satchel Paige

Don't stay in bed....unless you can make money in bed.

George Burns

Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."

Anonymous

Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

The Duchess of Windsor when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life

For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.

Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea)

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have the party, but no one expects you to say very much."

Anthony Lake , national security advisor, at University of Massachusetts, Amherst, Graduation 1995

If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.

H. Jackson Brown, Jr. - Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Harry S. Truman

In those days he was wiser than he is now; he used to frequently take my advice.

Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)

It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way to bet.

Damon Runyan

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.

Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)

Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Josh Billings

Never judge a book by its movie.

J. W. Eagan

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.

Cynthia Heimel

Never moon a werewolf.

Mike Binder

Never practice two vices at once.

Tallulah Bankhead

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Anonymous

People born to be hanged are safe in water.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) 's Mother

Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Start slow and taper off.

Walt Stack , marathon runner

Strength lies not in defense but in attack.

Adolf Hitler

There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back.

Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

There is no point at which you can say, 'Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap.'

Carrie Fisher

Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

'Think simple' as my old master used to say - meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

Trust, but verify.

Ronald Reagan , Former U.S. President

We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.

Cybill Shepherd

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop

Well done is better than well said.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Whatever you are, be a good one.

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.

Cynthia Heimel , "Lower Manhattan Survival Tactics" in Village Voice

When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Al Capone (1899-1947)

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you.

Rwandan Proverb

You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

W. Somerset Maugham

You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.

Indira Gandhi

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

Pearl Williams