I love being a writer, what I can't stand is the paperwork.

Peter DeVries

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Douglas Adams

I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities.

Theodor S. Geisel , AKA Dr. Seuss

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) , when asked what is his favorite song

I wanted revenge; I wanted to dance on the graves of a few people who made me unhappy. It's a pretty infantile way to go through life - I'll show them - but I've done it, and I've got more than I ever dreamed of.

Anthony Hopkins , Actor, on Stardom

I wants to make your flesh creep.

Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

I was an equal opportunity eater. Every ethnic group got a shot.

Bill Clinton , who sampled jerk chicken, cheeseburgers, egg roll, barbecued pork, pirogi, tandoori chicken and cheese corn bread at the recent Taste of Chicago

I was crazy back when being crazy really meant something.

Charles Manson

I was so ugly when I was born; the doctor slapped my mother.

Henny Youngman

I will praise any man that will praise me.

William Shakespeare - Antony and Cleopatra

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

I will praise any man that will praise me.

William Shakespeare - Antony and Cleopatra

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.

E. B. White

I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.

Jane Siberry

I'd rather bathe lepers than be interviewed by the press.

Mother Teresa

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.

John Steinbeck

I think it would be a good idea.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) , when asked what he thought of Western civilization

I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.

Orson Welles

I plan to accumulate as many shoes as Imelda Marcos while cultivating an aura of virtue exceeding that of Mother Theresa.

Seen in a .signature file

I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.

Wayne Gretzky

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Thomas Watson (1874-1956) , Chairman of IBM, 1943

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.

George Bird Evans

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Mae West (1892-1980)

I strive to be brief, and I become obscure.

Horace

I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about.

Don Mazankowski , former Candian Minister of Finance

I think Ms. Monroe's architecture is extremely good architecture

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.

Alexandre Dumas

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

I said that if people tell you your mother is not prime minister anymore, you just turn around and say, 'So what? How often has your mother been prime minister?'

Benazir Bhutto , Former Pakistani Prime Minister recounting advice she gave her children

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

I must place on record my regret that the human race ever learned to fly.

Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)

I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.

Bern Williams

I guess this is the week I earn my pay.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) , during the Cuban missile crisis

I had ambition, by which sin The angels fell; I climbed, and step by step, oh Lord, Ascended into Hell

W. H. Davies - Ambition

I had the ambition to not only go farther than man had gone before, but to go as far as it was possible to go.

Captain Cook , on his voyage to the Pacific in Endeavor

I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.

Samuel Johnson

I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.

John Locke (1632-1704

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

Steven Wright

I have completed a monument more lasting than brass.

Horace

I have read your book and much like it.

Moses Hadas (1900-1966) , book reviewer

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) , when was informed that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Bill Hoest

I just really liked her.

James Wilson , fifteen-year-old, who traveled from Illinois to Massachusetts by bike, bus and foot to seek out a girl he had met on the Internet - only to be caugh

I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.

John Cleese , Monty Python, British comedy television show